I think this covers it...

In case you cannot read it:

Brandon will be off from 4/9-4/12. Any attempts to call me will be unsuccessful. If your dog is sick, your car won't start, babysitter is smoking crack, uncle is drunk, baby's daddy gets out of jail. I do not care. Just be at work.

For the record, we've heard every single one of those before, plus some.

Thank you for the good laugh Brandon!