Thursday, September 19, 2013

Next time, sign me up for a Jitterbug.

I've been caught and started to be questioned, so I guess it's time to confess...

You may remember that my husband so selflessly gave me his phone upgrade back at the beginning of July and he talked me into going with the Galaxy S4.  It was the camera that technically sold me on it.

Well.....I went back to the iphone a few weeks ago.

Well, technically, I went about three steps back since I made my husband trade me his iphone 4 (I originally had a 4s)Please don't be jealous of the 2009 awesomeness I now hold in my hands. 

Laugh all you want, but I could not handle all the Galaxy had to offer.

Not that I'm a tech junkie by any means, but here's my personal opinion about it....the Galaxy does offer way more than the iPhone does.  What it's capable of wins over the iPhone hands down.  I think that if you have never had an iPhone, you'll be completely in love and have no complaints about it.  If you're an iPhone user/lover, it's a little harder to switch over and there are just little things about the operating system that will drive you crazy (after using the Galaxy for a few weeks now, my husband agrees with this). 

My biggest thing was that the iphone is just so much more simpler to use.  Maybe I'm showing my age, but I'm to the point I like simple, especially when it comes to technology.  

My husband and brother-in-law (who is also Galaxy owner), seriously talked about me at dinner one night like I was a complete failure.

I told them just sign me up for a Jitterbug next upgrade.

Unfortunately, I have till wait till February till an upgrade.  It's going to be a long few months.

Until then, please enjoy my crappy iphone 4 pics.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

It's not giving's doing what's best for now.

Olivia started preschool Monday.

So yes, we went ahead and signed her up.

And then I spent the weekend defending our decision.

Which can I tell you my husband isn't going to be happy about this post because he feels we shouldn't have to.

I heard a lot over the weekend "is this what you want?" No, it's not necessarily what I want, but this isn't just about what I want, it's about doing what's best for Olivia. 

Here's the deal....the homeschool vs. school conversation is an on going discussion in our house.  Why?  My husband and I don't necessarily see eye to eye on the subject.  We have very different opinions about what's best.

Regardless, we have always agreed that we would take the schooling thing on a year by year basis.  So, what worked for last year may not necessarily work for this year. Which is obviously the case this year.

We also have always agreed the kids wouldn't exclusively be homeschooled.  I would be lying if I said we didn't have a problem with Georgia public schools, because we do, but we don't have anything against the school setting in general, if that makes any sense.  Do I think 30 kindergarteners in one class is a good idea? Heck, no.  But I don't think there is any harm in a class of 12 kindergarteners or in our case, eight preschoolers.  Do I think we need to test for every single thing and base teachers pay off of it?  Heck, no.  But I do think when a teacher doesn't have to worry about getting paid based on teaching her students how to take a test, children can learn and thrive.  See what I'm trying to say? 

Traditionally, I have always thought we'd homeschool in the younger grades and then send them to private school when they got to middle school or higher.  The higher grades have always scared me and to be completely honest, it seems that majority of homeschool families do the same thing or at least have their kids enrolled in hybrid programs by then.

One of the issues with homeschooling is that most hybrid programs or co-ops do not start until first grade.  I understand the theory behind it and agree with it, but that makes it hard on us when you have an almost four year old who has a seven week old at home and just wants someone to play with on a regular basis.  Obviously, seven week olds with reflux don't make for very fun playmates.

I believe in homeschooling and I still do. 

I don't believe it's for every child or family, but I do believe it has and will have it's place in our family at the right times.  Last week, I wrote that I was sad because it would change the dynamics of our family.  When I wrote that, I meant it as in schedule wise.  One of the biggest draws for us to homeschool is the freedom of the schedule.  David has never worked a traditional Monday thru Friday 9-5 job in the fourteen years we've been together and odds are, he never will.  Homeschooling gives us the opportunity to have a weekend together as a family, even though it is on a Monday & Tuesday.  Without homeschooling, our kids would never have a weekend off with Dad.  Plus, we love traveling/going places on the "off times."  As a family, we no longer go to the beach during the summers and we've honestly gotten to the point we hardly leave the house during the weekends.  We love that homeschooling allows us to go whenever we want.

Right now though, we're trying to figure out life with a new baby in it.  Though her reflux is improving greatly over the past few days, I'm still going on just few hours of sleep at night and no matter how you slice it, new babies still take a good bit of care, even the happy reflux free ones.  It's just another season in life.  Like all seasons, it will pass.  Olivia just needs an outlet right now just like David and I do.  However, since we can drive and be out without adult supervision, it's a little easier for us.  She just can't run to Target or the gym to get away for a few minutes.  I know it might not be the route every family would go, but it's the only thing we can think of now for her. 

Contrary to belief, it's not about her catching up.  The "school" part of all this isn't what worries me.  In fact, I'm actually more worried about her falling behind by sending her to school.  She only goes three days a week for three hours a day.  That being said, we're still doing school stuff at home.  I have her doing way more advanced stuff school wise than what they are doing in her preschool class, so to keep her still going strong, we're still doing a little bit at home.  In fact, I'm not one to normally brag like this, but her teacher has already made a comment about how much more advanced she is compared to the other kids.  It's only been two days, but she's came home and still asked to do school, so obviously, the "school" part of it isn't satisfying her.  So, to be completely honest, we (Olivia included) look at it like a play group that meets on a regular basis.     

It's been only two days, but I'll be honest, it's already been an adjustment.  We are going to try to keep her in till the end of the school year, but I'll be honest, a few things have already come up and school is getting in the way of life.  So, how long she stays in will be questionable.  That's the thing I think that most don't understand about's not just a type of education, it's more of a way of life.  A way of life we're quickly hoping to get back into.  

Monday, September 9, 2013

Please stop embarassing me!!!!! And some answers....

First off I wanted to say thank you for your sweet words on Friday. 

Secondly, I wanted to say please stop with the "you are such a good mommy" comments.  Y'all make me feel so uncomfortable with those. I know y'all are trying to be sweet and encouraging because let's be honest, all us moms need to hear that on a regular basis, but seriously, y'all were making me feel bad on Friday. 

Yes, a blog (or any other form of social media) is for a certain amount of attention, but please don't ever think that I write anything just so I can get y'all to tell me how wonderful I am. I'm not one that really likes being the center of I write a blog so I can be the center of attention with out anyone actually staring at me....I write to document our lives (though I've sucked at it this year) for us to look back on.  I write for my on personal therapy....I wrote that post Friday so I can vent and have something to hang over Amelia's head twenty years from now.  I really appreciate y'alls encouraging words, but y'all were just making me feel awkward, so stop with how wonderful I am. Mmmmkay....Thanks! : )

Thirdly, don't take this the wrong way, but I know I'm a good mom.  You are a good mom....she's a good mom....that lady standing behind you in the check out line whose kid is losing their mind and screaming at the top of his lungs is a good mom.  One thing I've learned over the past three years is that majority of us are good moms (because let's be honest, some moms that make the news would not be in that category).  We're all trying the best we can with what we've been given.  Though your parenting ways may not be the same as mine, we're both good moms.  We're all trying to do the best we can for our kids.

So, if no one has told you lately, you're a good mom!!!!

Now to Friday...

I'm going to just give y'all a quick version of the story. 

I've heard some wonder stories about sending babies to the chiropractor.  I personally have never been to a chiropractor, but my husband goes on a pretty regular basis.  He's not one that believes a chiropractor can solve all your health problems, but he does swear he feels better afterwards.  So, we figured, let's give it a shot.  We're two weeks in at this point and desperate. We headed out first thing Friday morning and his chiropractor was super nice.  She examined and adjusted Amelia.  She explained all this stuff to me that I wont bore you with, but it did make some sense.  She said it would be a day or two before we saw any improvements, but she could see where she was having digestive issues and such do to certain things a chiropractor looks for. 

However, while walking out, I told David that I still felt like it was more than something that could be solved with an chiropractor adjustment.  I had went ahead and made an appointment with the pediatrician that afternoon because I felt like by her cries, she was in pain and it was something more.  So, that afternoon, we headed off to our much loved pediatrician.

I won't lie...I started bawling when I was explaining things to her.  It's been so frustrating not being able to figure out what was going on.  Thankfully, she didn't look at me like I was crazy.

Bottom line....Amelia has reflux. 

I know you might be did it take you two weeks to figure that one out???  In our defense, most babies with reflux spit up on a fairly regular basis.  Amelia doesn't spit up.  Evidently, it goes up to her nasal cavity to cause her to make this constant wheezing sound which was always worse after she ate.  It was getting worse over the last two weeks, so that's what prompted me to call the pediatrician.  After I explained her crazy eating habits, the wheezing noises, the crying, the doctor had called it immediately. So, my poor baby has been in constant pain these past few weeks.  She put her on Zantac, changed the bottles we're using, and is having us add a little bit of rice cereal to help keep the formula down.  She did say it would take a few days to notice a change and about a week or so to notice a big difference once everything heals.

I then got in the car and wept again.  Seriously, it was like there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel. 

After two days, we're already starting to see a difference.  You can tell she's still in pain when she is eating, but the wheezy noises are pretty much gone and the biggest thing....


Needless to say, we're excited that our sweet content baby is slowly on her way back. 

Friday, September 6, 2013

Sometimes life sucks.

Can I be sucks right now.

I honestly don't know if I'm coming or going lately. 

Amelia is still screaming nonstop and it's too the point we're all crying with her.  Somethings wrong with her to make her this unhappy. I know its more than just colic. I feel it.  She cries nonstop regardless of the time of day and most of the time, there is no way to comfort her.  Some days are better than others, but after almost three straight weeks, we're desperate.  So, by the time you read this we'll be heading off to one of our two appointments today to figure out what the deal is.

Along with that, I've been struggling with major guilt over the fact I have no time to devote to Olivia.  Believe me, I knew adding another kid was going to take away some time, but dealing with a baby who screams non stop takes away almost all your time and energy.  Doing school has been pretty much non existent in these last few weeks and as much as I hate to admit it, she's either been camped out in front of the tv or fending for herself.   After a couple of weeks, I can tell she's needing more.  Before the baby came, we once discussed sending her to school for this year, but she said she would rather do school at home, so we dropped it and prayed we'd survive the first few weeks.  This week the discussion has resurfaced and it's been a hard one for me.  It's left me in tears more often than I'd care to admit.

I know most would say I'm making too much out of sending her to preschool, but it's a big deal to me in the fact it would completely change our family dynamics and it's something I'm not quite sure I'm ready for at this moment, but I know I have to look at what's best for her and all of us at this moment.

But, it's hard and it just sucks in general.

I hate to feel like I'm posting two complaining post in a row, so with all that being said, here are a few things I've been grateful for this week....

~A husband who, after ten hour days, has come home everyday since "cry fest 2013" has begun and taken care of said cry baby and her sister, while kicking me out the door most nights to get a break.

~A rekindled friendship over the last few weeks.

~A best friend who knows you well enough to say "what's going on?" and questions your absence from the world ( media) and then allows you to literally cry on the phone about your crying baby and the possibility of sending your big baby to school.  

~My "everyday" family.

~Having a mother-in-law who shows up at your door with a home cooked meal, a bottle of wine, and then proceeds to take both crying baby and big sister to her house so you can get a moment of silence.

~Energy drink mixes.  Silly? Maybe.  I'm going on four hours of sleep these days and that's about five hours less than I normally need to function.  These things have been getting me thru the long days.  Though I did learn I was drinking enough of them to equal to nine cups of coffee. Oops.

 (My sister had this on her facebook page the other day and it just so happened to be right after I realized I was drinking a whole pot of coffee.)

And because no post is complete without a picture....

Here's the ring leader of "Cry Fest 2013"

This would be the only time she's not crying.  Unfortunately, she doesn't sleep all day.

Praying for answers and a better week.

Happy weekend! : )