Monday, October 21, 2013

A smiley baby & a second opinion.

We're home from the beach and back to reality. 

I have more pics from the beach but I wanted to do a quick update on this smiley baby.

I didn't really say anything on here, but a few weeks ago we had a really unfortunate situation come up at our normal pediatrician.   I won't go into details, but essentially Amelia's reflux had gotten worse, they refused to see her, and then after I demanded an appointment, they saw her but then refused to do anything about her reflux.  It was an ugly situation and the first time I ever walked out of an doctors appointment in tears.  Needless to say, we started searching for a new pediatrician and a second opinion. 

We got several recommendations, I called around to a few, and we decided to go with one close by.  Unfortunately, none of the pediatricians who were highly recommended had anything soon, so we had to sit and wait things out a few weeks.

Today we finally got into one of the new pediatricians and fortunately, there were no tears this time.

Overall, she got a great report and they said she looked very healthy which is always something I'm thankful for.  She's up to 11.9lbs and 24" long.  He did up her reflux meds and adding something else that I honestly can't remember the name of.  It had to be special ordered by the pharmacy, so we wont start on it for another day or two. So, after weeks of feeling like we weren't getting any help for our baby girl, it finally feels like we're heading in a new direction.

I have seriously never have felt as helpless as I have these past few weeks trying to figure things out for our baby girl.  When your baby is in pain and there is nothing you can do, it is the worst feeling. I know I may not come across that way, but I thank God everyday that this is all we are having to deal with.  I cannot imagine what parents who have to deal with medical issues on a daily basis feel.  I know our reflux days will come to an end and this will all seem like an ugly memory, but it still has left me feeling completely helpless as a mom. 

I told someone the other day that I feel like she gets a bad rap because for the past few weeks she's really becoming such a happy baby. I guess she's learned to live with the reflux and the uncomfortableness that comes with it.  The colic is still there, but it's daily duration is starting to dwindle and we've started to figure out what her "thing" is that calms her.  Her personality is already starting to come out and let's just say I think big sister is going to have a run for her money.  Especially in the talking department....this baby is vocal and loves to talk to us. 

Believe it or not, her nickname has gone from crazy baby to smiley baby.  I love it because she smiles with her whole face.  Her eyes light up and her smile takes up her whole face.  She melts my heart every time she smiles.

Even though it's been a long twelve weeks, at least once a day I look over at her and still can't believe she's here and she's ours.

Now I'm tearing up and need to go stare at her while she sleeps.

Thank you all for the encouraging words and prayers over the past few weeks.  You seriously have no idea how much they have meant.  A very big THANK YOU to those moms who have privately shared your own personal stories from dealing with the same stuff.  They have seriously been the words that have kept me going! : )

Friday, October 18, 2013

Taking a break and finding the reset button.

We ran away to the beach this week.

It's been a trip planned for quiet some time now, but oh, we had no idea how much it would be needed after these past few months.

They've been kinda stressful ones.

Believe me, there are a lot worse things we could be dealing with besides a colic/reflux baby (I've sadly had that reminder this week), but the past few weeks have been hard ones on all of us.

I started realizing it a week or so ago, the weeks had started to put their wear on me.  I've gotten quiet on here and in real life.  I've been putting out enough pics on instagam and facebook so people wouldn't worry about us, but I've been drawing into myself for weeks now.  Something I tend to do when things get rough. 

I've been short and had attitude with those around me.  Quick to judge and quick to answer....something I've learned is never a good thing for me.  The first thing out of my mouth is usually never a good thing. 

I've been quiet and trying to put up appearance but instead constantly thinking "you don't understand how tough life is right now for me."

To be honest, I've barely been keeping my head above water and just trying to survive.

But this week has felt like a reset button.

A new look on life. 

A reminder that it is going to get better.  

I've had a lot of help with the kids and haven't been the one constantly trying to keep a baby happy.  Olivia has had constant playmates between the grandparents and kids at the beach or the pool.

It's made a big difference. 

I needed a break.
Big time. 

I'm not someone to ask for help when I need it.  I didn't the first time around and I've haven't been so hot with this baby either. 

I guess I'll never learn.

But this week has been good, for all of us.  Even the baby. 

Week 12 has been much kinder to us and you can definitely tell she's improving. 

As I told Dave the other day "good news is, it can't get any worse."

It for real feels like we're finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

We've got one more day and then it's back to reality and real life. 

Here's to hoping the reset button works.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

When Tuesdays become extraordinary.

Yesterday was one of those days that the stars alined and it was just the perfect day.

The weather was perfect and the windows were open all day long.
Both kids took afternoon naps at somewhat the same time.
Dinner was in the crock pot and smelling delicous all day long.
We did school and had nothing but happy tears when she wrote her "P's" all by herself.
Even though we didn't leave the house once, it surprisingly stayed somewhat clean.
All the laundry was washed, folded, and put away all in the same day. 
We played outside so much, that baths had to be given before bed.

Nothing but the ordinary is what made it so extraordinary.


This space has been neglected lately due to the fact life has been non stop lately.  Things are calming down a little, so hoping I can get back to recording the memories.  Days like yesterday are the ones I don't want to forget.