Friday, February 14, 2014

To my Valentine...

To my Valentine:  

The love you give me, it's more than I deserve. 

When we were young, I judged your love by the nice gifts you gave  me, the fancy restaurants you took me was all about what you could do for me. 

For so long, I thought that was love and how you showed it. 

But these last few years, we've both grown up a lot and I've realized it has nothing to do with all those things.

Love is losing pretty much everything you have together, but in the end, saying we've got each other and that's all that matters. 

It's that look you gave me when I told you you were going to be a daddy both times.

It's the tears in your eyes when you saw both of your babies for the first time.

It's those days that I call and tell you I can't carry on any more and you rush to save me and pick up the slack.

It's those slow dances in the kitchen with a baby in a highchair looking on and a four year cutting in.

It's those years we debated walking away from each other, but deciding our family and our marriage was worth fighting for instead.

These past few years, you've given me the best gift I could ever've taught me what real love is about.

And that is one gift, I wouldn't trade for anything.

Happy Valentine's Day my Love!!!

Can't wait to celebrate tonight over sloppy joes with the kids! ; )

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Why is it such a struggle?

Here we are. 

Baby number two and the second time I'm finding myself struggling just to get by.

This baby stage...

It's such a struggle for me.

With Olivia, I thought it was because she was my first and I didn't really know what to expect.  Add on my bout of postpartum depression, I felt like we had so much going against us and I just couldn't enjoy her baby stage. 

I cried the other day to a friend over how I felt like I was such a bad mom because of how much I loathe the stage Amelia is in. 

I've always said I wasn't a baby person and having a second baby has more than confirmed that to me on a daily basis.  However, I completely realize that the baby stage is apart of the process of having children and one you can't really avoid. So no lectures please.

I just so often feel like I'm the only one.

I  just look around me and I see all these other women who are gushing over babies...talking about how much they love this babies are so sweet and they just want to sit and cuddle them all day they want to add ten more to their families.....

I look at babies and want to run in the opposite direction.

Babies are just so hard for me. 

Don't get me wrong, it's not Amelia herself.  I love the girl with every fiber in me, but I'll admit, I can't wait for her to get to the next stage of life.  I know I shouldn't admit it, but I'm count down the days till her first birthday.  I'd take the toddler stage over the baby stage any day.

Everyone keeps telling me to soak it up, but I just can't.  No matter how hard I try. 

This second time seems to be even harder than the first.  Yes, the colic and reflux haven't helped matters any, but this go round, I know what I have to look forward to after this stage and it seems to be making the baby stage go by so painfully slow.

But at the same time, knowing what's coming is one of the few things keeping me sane. I look at Olivia and remind myself over and over, Amelia will be there too one day.

Thankfully, the fact she's getting so dang cute is making things a tad bit easier.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

It's about so much more.

I haven't mentioned book club in awhile, but we're still going strong.  It's crazy to think we just hit our four year mark last month.

We've had members come and go over the years, but the original four are still here.

It's still one of my favorite nights each month.

I remember how when we first started, if someone didn't read the book, they felt the need to not come.  Four years later, we feel we have to come regardless.  

Some months, if it's a really good book, the book takes up most of our nights conversation.  Most months though, it seems we just talk about life.  It's funny how you can only see some people once a month, but you have no problem baring your soul to them.  A lot of times, it almost seems more like therapy than a book club, and yes, there has even been tears shed a few times.

It was my turn to host this month after skipping a round when I had Amelia (It was also our first official gathering in the farmhouse).  I'd say my book pick wasn't my favorite (The Hangman's Daughter).  There was even a moment I didn't think I'd finish the book...that's kinda a no no when it's your own pick....but thankfully I finished with three hours to spare.

We ate, we laughed, we celebrated some fun news, and we did what we usually do...we mainly talked about life.

And like every month before, it seems to be just what we needed.

*In case you're curious, a list of what we read last year...
Angry Housewives Eating Bonbons
The Language of Flowers
The Enchanted April
Defending Jacob
The Art of Hearing Heartbeats
Save me
Ladies Night
When I found you
Mimosa Lane
Between Sundays
The Scent of Rain and Lightning
Garden of Stones
The Book Thief

Monday, February 10, 2014

Some random things I feel you need to know.....

.....but you could probably care less about! Good thing it's my blog! : )

 ~Last week, I came down with a cold and today, one co-pay later, it was confirmed Olivia has an ear infection.  Seriously, what is the deal???? I don't even have words anymore. You know Olivia doesn't feel good when she falls asleep on the couch.

~Our mail lady has been holding our mail hostage for the past few weeks.  The day of the Snow Apocalypse (of all days), she left a note saying that our mailbox needed to be raised to 45 inches, even though David measured it and put it at the same height as the other two next to it.  We didn't think much about it since it was the exact same height as the other two, but we've been here three weeks now and haven't gotten a lick of mail.  I finally told David I thought the mail lady was holding our mail hostage till he raised the mailbox, but he kinda shrugged me off.  He finally got around to raising it and sure enough, she left a note saying she would "now bring our mail."  The crazy part is it's seriously about two feet higher than the other two mailboxes and it looks ridiculous!!!

~I haven't had my hair colored since before Christmas.  It's bad.....bad, bad, bad.  Its so bad, I should be wearing a ball cap 24/7.  I finally got an appointment for tomorrow to get this head full of grays covered, however, it's supposed to be the snow apocalypse again tomorrow.  I'm not going to be a happy lady if we do get hit again.  The grays are that bad.

~In less than two weeks, David and I will be heading out of the country for the first time since we've had kids.  The girls are staying behind and to say I'm a tad bit nervous is an understatement.  I know the girls are in good hands, its not that I'm worried about, it's just this is the first time we haven't been a short car ride away. 

~My cousin Aubry gave me a monogrammed t-shirt for Christmas.  She then made the mistake of telling me who she ordered it from and now I'm addicted to them.  I have since ordered several more, and it has pretty much became my standard wear these days.  Everyone should know my initials these days.

Me, my baby (who refuses to be put down), and one of my monogrammed shirts

~It seems like 2014 is the year of babies! We seriously have six friends (and a family member!!!) who are having babies all within a months time of each other.  I'm so excited for them all and to be completely honest, even more excited that it's not me pregnant this summer! ; )

~Speaking of babies....this girl is pure rotten.  Straight up rotten.

She is going to be the one to give us a run for our money.

Happy Monday! : )

Friday, February 7, 2014

This Winter Weather

I feel like I've got nothing when it comes to the blog.  The blogging juices are running dry these days.

I'm blaming it on this weather.

If you've been reading for any amount of time, I think you should be giving me props for not mentioning the weather already, since you all know my hatred love for winter.  Usually by now I've been complaining for a solid month.

Ironically, I've yet to mention it and it's been the worst winter we've had in years.

I know the rest of the country has had it a lot worse than we have.  We've been fourtunate to only get one round of snow so far.

Buuuuuut.........the wind.

Oh my gosh...the wind this winter has been something fierce.  I can somewhat deal with the cold, but I can't deal with the cold wind.  It's made for some long days stuck inside.

We're an outside family, even in the usually mild winter months, but this winter it's been impossible.

Though we have been trying our best to keep up with school inbetween all the sickness and the move, my kids have been watching way more tv than I care to admit to. 

I've been wearing my loungy clothes way more than normal clothes. 

I've had no motivation what so ever to run or workout.  I can't tell you how many times I've actually walked outside to go run and walked right back in this winter.  I don't do the cold.

We've pretty much done nothing it feels, but hang out at home.


And I'm over it.  We all are.

Olivia asks me almost everyday "is it warm yet?"  

Unfortuantely, it's been a constant "no."

So, here's my complaint....over it. 

If you need me....I'll be sitting on my couch, in my yoga pants, dreaming of Spring.


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The week I lost my mind.

Why is it so hard to get back on the blogging train when I've fallen off?!?!

And I was doing so good there for a hot minute. 

Well, we moved into the farmhouse and four days later, we all came down with the flu. Let's just say it was not my finest parenting week. 

I came down with it first and then over the next nine days, we were all taken down.  Let's talk about how hard it is to parent two sick children when you are trying to recover from the flu yourself. It should be law that if mom gets sick, she gets it after everyone else, not first.  I feel like we cannot catch a break this winter.  We have never been sick like we have in the past two months.  The bright side is that there isn't much left for us to catch because we've pretty much caught it all it seems.

I may or may not have broken down at the third doctors appointment of the week asking "why us???" I'm sure the doctor may or may not have thought about having me committed at that point and time.  If it wasn't for the fact he had already seen me several times that week and I had already chalked up a $30 co pay each time, I might not still be here.

Oh, and add on the fact it was Snow Apocalypse in Atlanta last week did not help anything.  That meant I was flying solo for three days with two sick kids.

Like I said, it was not my finest parenting week.  Let's just leave it at that.

So, we all finally started to recover over the weekend and this week we finally all seem back to normal.  


This year so far has seemed far from normal. 

I had high hopes for 2014, but let's be honest, it's kicking my butt so far.

Hoping for a "quieter and healthier" February.

Four days in and things are looking promising.