Thursday, December 20, 2012

Baby Details

First off....thank you, thank you, thank you, so much for all the well wishes.  They seriously all mean so much to us.

Just like so many of you also expressed, we are still in shock over it all.

It is a total unexpected gift from above.

I was in shock when the two lines showed up around the first of December.  It's funny because for the past three years, I've imagined over and over again what my reaction to seeing those two pink lines would be, but when it actually came to be, my reaction was nothing like I had ever imagined it to be.

I honestly didn't believe it.

So much so, I waited for three days and three different tests before I felt ready to tell David.  Even then, I told him with hesitation.

After that, we sat on the secret for over a week and waited for doctor confirmation before we told our parents and only a hand full of others, who all learned over this past weekend.

Which is a big deal for us, we suck at keeping secrets like this.  With Olivia, I told David after the first test and we made it public after only a couple of days.

However, this go round, I've been really nervous about sharing with others.  Even now. 

I'm a little over eight weeks along (Due July 30) and would have liked to have waited a little longer before sharing the news, but what they say about the second go round is true and I'm already sprouting a little baby bump. So, it was getting a little harder to keep the secret much longer, especially with it being the holidays and seeing so much family over the next couple of weeks.  Plus, it doesn't help when you have a three year old running around yelling "I"m going to be a BIG SISTER!!!" at the top of her lungs.  It kinda confuses people.

Over the last three years, you all have been along with us through all the whys, tears, heartbreak, etc.  I never shared with you all, but the ironic part of this story is that at the end of this past summer, I finally got brave enough to ask the Doctor to move forward with looking for answers.  She was ready over a year before, but I personally was not.  This summer though, I had finally gotten to the point that even if it wasn't the answer I wanted to hear, I needed an answer to why things were not happening.  I needed to be able to move forward one way or the other.

 She told me a year and a half ago that her prediction was not that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant again, but that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant without their help.  Obviously though, she couldn't give me a definite answer until I said I was ready to go in for testing. 

She gave me the referral for the infertility specialist and I walked out that day ready to start searching for answers.  Well, three days later we started dealing with the house stuff, which ended up going on for months, and I decided that now wasn't the time to add on the stress of infertility appointments and testing.   I put up my referral sheet in a safe place and told David I wanted to get through moving and the holidays first and then I'd call for an appointment at the beginning of the new year.  Crazy enough, we never needed that little referral.  Needless to say, though she's heard crazier, my doctor was a little in shock too.

And once again, God has proved to me he knew what he was doing all along.

To answer a few questions that I've had....

***Olivia somewhat understands what is going on.  One minute she's running around screaming about being a big sister and the next, she's saying she's the only baby.  We know it will be a huge adjustment for her when the baby comes.  We are already talking and making plans with the grandparents to make sure she gets plenty of attention from us and others when the baby comes. I know this is all natural and she will be fine.  As someone compared it the other's kinda like your husband coming home and telling you how much he loves you and how wonderful you are, but he's bringing home another wife.  When I heard that, I thought how very true.

***Yes, I am going to same doctor and right now planning on the very same doctor that delivered Olivia to deliver baby #2.  This is something that I've honestly been thinking about for the last three years.  I have never placed blame on what happened last time on my doctor. I honestly have never felt like any of it was her fault.  I have always looked at it as a total freak accident.  I have debated going somewhere else, but the fact she knows my history and what happened the last go round, means she knows what to look for and I know in my heart, she will do whatever she can to prevent it to happen again.  If I go to someone new, they might not put much into what happened last time.  I take comfort in her knowing what happened and trust myself to be in her hands once again.

***I will have a scheduled c-section.  Due to what happened my last go round, they are not really giving me a choice. I totally understand that some people totally won't agree with this, but I feel okay with it.  I'll know what to expect and can prepare myself over the next 32 weeks.  Yes, I'm nervous.  Not so much about having the same freak accident happen, but more over the surgery itself.  I think its normal to be anxious over any type of surgery.

***The most asked question I get is am I sick?  Well, if you've been around long enough, you know I was sick as a dog while pregnant with Olivia.  I seriously was sick multiple times a day for 20 weeks last time.  IT WAS NOT FUN. Thankfully, I have only been sick three times so far this pregnancy.  I had been throwing up multiple times a day at this point with Olivia, so comparing the two, I consider the answer to be a no.  I get nauseated often, but so far, it usual will go away before I have to go running for the bathroom. Being that I'm already over the half way mark of the first trimester, I'm hoping the sickness doesn't get any worse.  I am however beyond exhausted. I already cannot sleep at night and my three year old is up every morning before 6am.  I may or may not several times a day bribed her with the ipad so I could take a nap on the couch.  I am counting down the weeks till that second trimester energy comes in!

Like I said, I'm nervous about putting it out there.  I know a lot of it stems from others close to me that have experienced loses recently.  When I was pregnant with Olivia, I was a little younger and naive to some of the heartbreaks that can come with pregnancy.  The last few years however have opened my eyes through others experiences.  I know so many of you have been praying for us over the past few years and I am asking for continuing prayers for both the baby and my health.  This is usually not me.  I'm usually pretty positive thinking, but I guess it being a long time answered prayer, I'm having a little fear.  So I ask for your continued prayers.

Once again, thank you for the well wishes and excitement. 

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

An early Christmas gift.

We are ecstatic (and honestly, still a little shocked) to be able to announce that Olivia will be a big sister Summer 2013.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A quiet December.

It's been a pretty quiet December for us this year.

I'm actually kinda proud to say that we have nothing left on our schedule, but to celebrate actual Christmas with our families. 

It seems like the past few Decembers we have been rushing from one event to the next....heck, I think that could easily describe our past few years.

Last Spring, I decided that I was tired of it.

We've cut back a lot on our social schedule you could say.  I finally had that realization that we do not have to attend every party or dinner we're invited to.  We don't have to make every field trip or play date with friends. It's okay to say "no thank you" or that we're already busy....even if that "busy" is just us staying home as a family. 

Can I be honest with you? 

Doing that has been one of the best things we've done for our little family.

I've seen a change in us over the last six months.

We're happier.
We're less stressed.
We're spending less money.
We're finding things around the house to keep us entertained.
We're closer as a family and a couple.

It seemed like for awhile, we weren't happy unless we were going going going. I find it funny that these days, it seems like we're not happy unless we're home.

I know your thinking "duh" but lets be honest, its way too easy to get caught up in the going going going cycle and before you know it, you haven't stopped in months...or even years.

When the holiday season rolled around, I made sure to keep our schedule as clear as we could.  I'll admit that our November was pretty crazy, but the weekend of Thanksgiving was the cut off. 

I had a few things that I wanted to do for tradition sake. We went to see lights as a family and we had a Nana/Olivia/Mommy date to see Rudolph at the Center for Puppetry Arts.  Otherwise, our December has been filled with walks around the neighborhood to see lights, working on Christmas crafts and our advent tree, or cuddling up on the couch to watch Frosty & The Berestain Bears Christmas for the umpteenth time.  

Watching her get excited over the same lights night after night, has been a reminder that I do not need to be rushing her from this event to the next, in order for her to truly enjoy Christmas or to make the memories. 

Once again, life has sent a gentle reminder that it's the little things.

To be honest, I'm excited to keep this "less is more" thing going through the upcoming new year.  In just a few months, it's worked wonders for our little family. I'm excited to see what a whole year could do.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Book Club 2012

Tonight we held our last book club meeting of 2012. 

I know a few people have asked why there hasn't been too many book club post this year and to be honest, it's kinda been a weird year for our little book club.

We lost a few members due to schedule conflicts, but overall, it seem to just be a busy year for everyone in general.  All of us had to miss a meeting or two throughout the year due to other events.  It's been months since we've had everyone at a meeting.

It was also a year that not everyone had the time to read the books.  It's obviously, not a requirement to read the book in order to come, but I think I can say (being that I was one of those a few times this year) that it's easy to feel left out if you didn't.  Honestly, most months only two or three people actually read the book, so it made for sometimes difficult discussion.  Most meetings, we ended up spending our time catching up with each others lives.

I think the biggest factor to our "weird" year, was that we just didn't have many good book picks.  Yes, every book you read will not be your favorite, however, this year we had a lot of duds or "okay" picks.  We didn't have many that everyone loved.  We've learned in three years of book clubbing that some of the best discussions come from books that we all really enjoyed.  Plus, I think most readers will agree that its hard to get in a reading mood when you've only read an okay book after okay book. 

I hate to admit it, but there had been a couple of times I thought that maybe our little book club had ran it's course. 

Somehow, the stars all alined and everyone got to make it to last meeting of the year.  Not everyone got a chance to read the book, the book was another "okay" pick, and to be honest, there was more talk about "life" than the actual book, but it felt like old times.

It felt like the rejuvenation that our little book club needed.

We talked a little how this year hadn't been our best, but we were all ready to get back in the swing of things. 

With the addition of a new member (if we don't scare her away just yet), talks of the return of an old one (who always picked great books), and a couple of book titles already being thrown out there for the upcoming year, it looks like 2013 will be a better year for our little group.  

In case your curious about next months read, in honor of going into our fourth year, I decided that maybe it was time for all of us to read the book that had inspired Nicole and I to start a little book club of our own.

 It's a great book about a book club and may just inspire you to start your own too! : )

Thursday, December 6, 2012

A home.

Thank you for the well wishes a few weeks ago about our move.  A few people have mentioned that they didn't see that post and I realize that a lot of my readers come through my facebook page.  For whatever reason, that post didn't get posted on my facebook feed and I have no clue why, so sorry for those who were left out of the loop.

We've been here for almost two months now and we're still working on making it our home.

It hasn't been the easiest for me.  Though all our stuff and my people are here, there are still days I look around and think this isn't "home."  It's like we're staying at a vacation house for the week and we're returning home any day now.  However, I realize that we're not going back to the old house.

Believe me when I say, I feel in my heart that we without a doubt, made the right decision to go ahead with the move.  The pros outweigh the cons by a mile. 

Everyone else in my house has seemed to adjust fairly quickly. 

I've gotten a lot of "how's Olivia adjusting?" questions over the past few weeks and I can honestly say she's adjusted faster than any of us.  We still travel back to our old town for dance once a week and even though its been almost two months, she tells me each time we head back in that direction "I don't want to go back to my old house, I like my new house." 

Besides the fact she's living it up with grandparents just one door down, she loves the fact we're living in a smaller space and her room is right next door to us.  A few months before we moved, she was old enough to realize she was all the way on the other side of the house by herself at night and it made for some rough bedtimes for awhile.  I cannot say that I blame her on that one though.

However, it will take a little more time for me.  

I know....home is where your loves are...but lets be honest, sometimes that's easier said than done.  Especially, when you have so many memories in one place.

Calling it "home" will come in time, that I am sure of.  It always does.

Ask me where home is in a few months and I'm sure I won't even think twice.

I'm sure I will be feeling right at home when summer comes and I only have to walk one door down for a pool. 

Just kidding.

Okay, maybe not....I will be giving many thanks next summer for having some way to entertain my kid all summer.  This past summer was a rough one.

Oh, and I've decided to bring old school Christmas decor back this year.  The Santa and snowman belonged to my grandparents and were hanging out on their front porch when I was a kid.  They were offered to me and I said "heck yeah!" I'm still protesting the blow-ups. 

And why yes, that's me outside in shorts in complaints here.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Greats.

The internet on my computer has been out for a few days now.  I had done everything I could possibly think of to fix it, but to no avail.  So, I've been resorting to pleas over text and phone call to David to help with the situation.  David has begun his extra crazy Christmas hours these past two weeks and he's been getting in so late, he pretty much passes out when he walks in the door, so obviously fixing my computer was not a priority.  However, it hit me this afternoon "maybe I should try to restart the computer?"  I know your thinking "duh" but that thought really did not occur to me till days later.

Lo and behold, the internet is magically working again.

I'm still sticking with my argument that the computer is on the fritz (it's over six years old) and I need a new one.  Miraculously, the hubby isn't arguing with me on that one, but even I can agree that Christmas is not the time to be in need of a new computer.  Fingers crossed, ol' Betty here makes it till Spring. 


Last Spring, my family on my Dad's side gathered to watch the last one of us "grand girls" head off to her senior prom.  It's been a family tradition since the oldest (that would be me) headed off to prom for the first time almost 14 years ago.  Yes, we are totally that family with 15 people there and 15 cameras in tow, snapping away.
After we waved the baby off, the rest of us headed out for dinner.  While waiting for our meal, we started talking about the fact it would be another 15 years till we get to wish another girl off to prom.  My Meme made the comment "I hope to be there to see her." I immediately looked up and snapped "Why wouldn't you be? Already have plans?"  Yes, my Meme looked at me like I was crazy. 

I was fortunate enough that I got to know most of my great grandparents.  Several of them did pass away when I was too young to really get to know them, however, three of them lived until I was well into my teens or beyond.  In fact, my last great grandparent just passed in 2011 when I was 29. 

So naturally, I have just always assumed Olivia would grow up with my grand parents around. 
It's honestly something I've taken for granted until yesterday when I had posted the picture below and got so many responses on how lucky  I was to still have my grandparents around.

Olivia is fortunate to have five great grandparents still in her life and we're fortunate to get to see them on a somewhat regular basis. 

Obviously, we do not know what life will bring our way, but my wish remains that Olivia gets the opportunity to know them the way I knew my own growing up.

Olivia, if you ever read this....I know we will come to a point and time where you roll your eyes when I mention a visit to the "old people" (their words, not mine), but take a moment out of your day to visit and listen to their stories for the umpteenth time.  I promise that one day you'll miss it. 


For the record, it's fun to watch your parents become grandparents.  It's even more fun to watch your grandparents become great think your parents spoil the kids....with Great grandparents, all the rules are totally out the window.