On my mind

We're having dinner at our house tonight. I should be up doing some cleaning or vacuuming up new carpet fuzzies, but instead, I'm watching tv and blogging. I said "what the hey?" These people don't care how clean my house is. I'm grateful I have friends that I can be that laid back with and don't have to put on a show.

Did you watch Private Practice last night? What would you do in that situation? If you missed it, a couple had twin eight year old daughters who both had leukemia. They got pregnant with a third child in order to use the umbilical blood to save the girls life. Of course, there ended up only being enough blood to safe one child and the parents had to choose what child to save and what child would die. Could you imagine? This sparked a big debate between Dave and I. I said I wouldn't be able to choose. He said I was being selfish by letting both die and not choosing one. Ironically, it was the same debate the couple on the show were having. I pray we're never in that situation. I pray that no one ever has to be in that situation. I honestly don't know what I would do if faced with that choice. The couple of the show ended up choosing the daughter that was least sick and had a better chance of survival if your wondering. Oh, and I would never agree to let my pregnant fifteen year old daughter get married.

Nicole posted this morning about "working on a better me." David and I were having a similar conversation last night at the same time Nicole was having her moment. Gossip has been running ramped in our circle of friends lately. I'll give Nicole props for the fact that she was the first to step up and say "I refuse to be apart of this." This past week, I too have started to realize how it is affecting our friendships. I guess the reason it finally hit me, is I finally learned what others were saying about me. I knew the others talked about me, but it's another thing to learn what they are actually saying. Feelings are being hurt, lines are being drawn in the sand and sides taken, and things that have been said are being twisted into something that was not. The sad part is, it's gotten so bad, I don't think people even realize they're doing it. I have come to realize, that I was letting things that others were saying to determine what I thought of others when I shouldn't have been letting their words influence my decisions. I know I'm better than that and I'm disappointed in myself. I'm sorry for things I've said about others and the assumptions I've made in the past. I've decided to start a new leaf. I too am working on getting rid of this bad habit I have. I'm almost thirty years old but acting like I'm in high-school. It's time to grow up.