Sorry, it's been a busy week.  I got that phone call this morning..."you still alive?"

I'm happy to say that I'm still here and doing well, we've just been busy and the week has been getting away from me.

Monday night was this months bookclub.  For those who like to keep up, we read Defending Jacob by William Landay.  I guess you would put it in the murder/suspense/mystery kind of genera.  I was the only one who didn't like it, but those types of books/movies/tv shows aren't my cup of tea and something that I have never gotten into.  However, the book lead to a good discussion....a "how far would you go for your child?" type.  If you are into those types of stories, I would highly recommend it.

On Monday afternoon, I accidentally tore a contact lens and horror of all horrors, it was my last pair.  I couldn't get an appointment with the eye dr. till the following afternoon.  For the first time in 12 years, I had to wear my glasses outside of the house and in public.  I was bummed.  Thankfully all the ladies at bookclub tried to pump me up and tell me how they liked them, but still....wearing my glasses is my one thing that I still feel self conscious about, even at thirty.  Even though I have cute, stylish frames, I still have a hard time wearing them in public.  I think its because my lens are still so thick (even after springing for the special thin lens) that they constantly feel like they are falling off my face.  I just hate having something on my face all the time.  Thankfully, the eye dr. squeezed me in on Tuesday afternoon and I'm back in my good ol' contacts. 

I've been asked a lot lately how Amelia and I are doing these days.  I didn't post it on here, but praise Jesus, we had a normal appointment last week and we got an "all good. We'll see you in a month."  It was such a relief to walk out of a doctors office not in tears for once.  For the record, I did see an actual doctor this time, so I think that made the world of difference.  I have a feeling that a lot of the stuff from last month was more due to a dramatic PA.  I have told them at the front desk that I do not want to see that PA again.  Yes, a little harsh, but I only want to see a real doctor. No offense to anyone, but we pay a huge chunk of money each month for health insurance and if I'm paying, I want to see a real doctor.  I still have one more appointment with the specialist next week,  I'm praying hard that this will be my last with them and I will be let go.  Overall, I'm feeling great still and going by her kicks and movement, Amelia Baby (Olivia's nickname) is growing stronger by the week. 

 Needless to say, the tragic events in Boston on Monday have definitely left me a little shook up this week.  Though anytime anything tragic like this happens, this tragedy has hit a little close to home for me personally. 

Most of Monday afternoon and evening, I kinda walked around stunned and in a daze.  Like anytime something like this happens, I was asking myself how someone could do something like this??? I know this is something that majority of us will never ever understand. 

Just last fall, I competed and finished my first big race.  My family, my husband and my baby girl, two that are my world, stood at a very similar finish line cheering me on for my accomplishment and my months of hard work. It's so easy to put your mind in that "what if?" state.

By Monday evening, I couldn't watch anymore of the news or listen to it.  It was just too hard to hear anymore.  By the time I went to bed Monday night, I honestly felt defeated.  How can something as rewarding as running a big race, now be something so scary?  One thing that gives me personally (and so many others) so much joy in life, is now something you have to think is it worth risking your life or your families? 

Tuesday, I woke up knowing that we cannot live in fear.  Will a tragic event like this keep me away from the finish line?  No. Just like how I still get on planes or go to the movie theater, I will keep crossing those finish lines. Will the memory of the events in Boston go away? Never, but the accomplishment that comes from crossing that finish line is too much to give up due to fear. Though personally I have never had dreams of Boston, I do have dreams of other big races and I'm not quite ready to give up on those just yet.  Though no matter what race I run, those in Boston will always cross my mind when I cross that finish line.

We're off to the strawberry patch!

Hope everyone is having a great Wednesday! : )


Tristan said…
i know, right? crazy that it is wed.!!

yumo strawberries!

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