I'm about to go there...

 Its Friday!

Somehow, the week got away from me and obviously, I took a little blogging break. I wasn't planning on it, but sometimes you got to step back and put yourself back together.  That was me this week.

But now I'm back and better.

Can I bring up a touchy subject for a moment?

That comment that was made a couple of days ago....

You know, the one made about Mitt Romney's wife Ann.

Yeah, I'm going to go there. 


Its been irking me the past few days.  Mostly because I personally was stabbed with a comment that was similar TWICE within the the past few months by two different people. Yes, I'll just call them out, people who are not mothers. 

Yeah, that's why it was a stab.

Whether you go to a 9-5 job every morning or you work at home taking care of your children 24/7/365, being a mom is work. 

Being a mom is a hard work....period.

Honestly, as a stay at home mom, I look at working moms and I don't see how they do it.  As a stay at home mom, they impress me.  I realize that being at home, I have plenty of time to get most of the stuff I need to get done, done at some point in time through out the day.  Working moms have a very limited time slot between say 6pm-10pm to get the usual stuff done (i.e. dinner, laundry, baths, homework, etc.) all while taking care of the kids and putting some quality time in with them. 

That is what is impressive to me.

However, I don't have the "luxury" of sitting on my butt all day watching tv and reading like some people think.

I rarely have the tv on during the day and the fact my book list is looking pretty sad this year, is evidence I don't get a lot of time to read lately.
 

A few things to think about from a stay at home mom....

I think one of the things that people don't realize about stay at home moms, is how emotionally exhausting it can be.  Most days, I fall into bed more emotionally exhausted than physically.  Personally, I'd rather be physically exhausted than mentally/emotionally.  You'd be amazed at how emotionally exhausting it can be with a two year all day long. Its tough to not get a break from someone at some point and time during the day.  Seriously, try it....even my husband I have never spent 24/7/365 (Yes, I say 24hrs a day since my two year old is still not sleeping through the night currently and guess who's up with her...yeah, me).  So don't judge when a sahm post that nap time is her favorite time a day on facebook. She needs a lunch break just like you do.  Also, just another thing to think about, I don't get sick days.  I rarely get to step away from my job and just leave it all behind.  I'm at my "office" seven days a week. 

It can be lonely.  So very lonely.  Its very easy to get isolated when your staying home with little ones.  My husband can tell the days he comes home and I haven't talked to another single soul besides Olivia. Let's just say, its not pretty. Even if its trough text, I have to talk to another adult throughout the day. 

You can sometimes feel like more of a drain on the family than actually adding to it.  We still have months where it seems like there is more month than money.  Those are the months when I start questioning myself if I'm actually benefiting the family staying home.  In the long run, yes, I am.  With David's crazy schedule, it does benefit our family with having a parent home 24/7, but when you can't help pay a bill, its easy to forget that. 


My successful days are few and far between.  For me personally (it is different for every sahm) a successful day is having a clean house, a happy kid, a dressed mom, and dinner on the table when my husband walks in the door.  However, it very rare that the stars align and all of those come together.  Seriously, maybe once a month. If I have a clean house, I have a unhappy kid.  If I have a happy kid, my house is a disater and we have to go out for dinner.  In my own book, a fail.




One of my longest and closest friends is a working mom of two small children.  We often share with each other our struggles, not a working mom or a stay at home mom, but as just plain moms.  She has the same struggles with her kids that I have with my own.  Every conversation we have with each other, we're at some point saying to each other "I don't see how you do it."

I was fortunate that I was able to start my stay at home mom journey when I was five months pregnant with Olivia, so I never have worked while having children (Being that I stayed home four months before I had a kid, I can say that being a housewife is different than being a SAHM.....NOT THE SAME THING).  So, I cannot stand here and share the struggles of working moms.  However, from having friends who are working moms, I do realize we ALL have our struggles.

This post isn't to start the ongoing war that seems to be still raging between the two moms.  Its just a reminder to stop and think before you open your mouth.  The older I get, the more I have such a hard time understanding why women are so quick to tear each other down. We're all struggling, we all have pressures, and in the end, we all want the same thing, happy heatlhy kids.

I've noticed lately that regardless of where they spend the hours between 9-5, most woman my age identify themselves as "mom" before anything else.  Being a mom is a job.  Wheter your office is in a building downtown or your own home, the mom job is hard work.  A job that all of us would agree, working or stay at home, raising little people is the hardest work we've ever done.




Comments

The Edberg's said…
I agree on most points you've made, most people should think before opening their mouths, both the media person and Mrs. Romney could learn that a bit. I feel think her lifestyle as an adult (living the millionaire life) discredits Mrs. Romney from speaking to the economic hardships of most families in the country right now, and the media person could learn a thing or two about the true SAHM lifestyle of many families.
Tristan said…
amazing post. so true..we work hard!