Thursday, September 30, 2010

One year.

Well, the day has finally arrived. One moment I feel like running around shouting for joy that we've made it to this point, the next I feel like crying when I think of how quickly it took to get here.

One year.

I keep thinking that maybe if I ignore it, then it wouldn't be official yet. I could still walk around saying I have a baby and not a one year old. To say I haven't been trying to push it to the back of my mind all week would be lying.

I'll never forget how scared I was walking into the OR or in the moments before they pulled you out, thinking how my life would never again be the same. I'll never forget the first time I laid eyes on you and cried. I looked you at you for the first time, but yet, I had known you my entire life. I'll never forget when I first held you and the surge of peace that settled over me.

It's truly been a year of it's ups and downs, but one I wouldn't trade for the world.


My heart breaks now thinking that I can no longer hold you in my arms like a baby anymore. Those days slipped through my hands so quickly. Everyone told me to soak them in while I could, but I didn't, and now they seem to be a distant memory. What I would do to cradle you in my arms again for one more day.

It's been a year of exciting moments, frustration, lots of crying (for both of us), lessons learned, lots of laughs and smiles.

That smile. It melts my heart every time.

You have such a big personality in that little body. I pray everyday that I can nurture it in the right direction.

I wanted to write a more meaningful post, but every time I sit to write, all I can do is look at your pictures and cry. This year has flown by.

So, all I can say is Happy Birthday Baby Girl! I love you more than you'll ever know and as Taylor Swift says...."You are the best thing that's ever been mine."

5 comments:

Kim said...

Aww! Happy Birthday, Olivia Kate!

Tristan said...

omg..makes me cry :(

she is one precious,loved little girl!

i still hold my babe like a teeeny baby..hehe..and she lets me, it's a bad habit but, one i have no desire to give up!

The Popes said...

Andrew will appreciate the Taylor reference!

LOVE MY BABY MONSTER!!!

Tami W said...

I love you both...One day she will know this love. She has a wonderful mom in you. Now you have just moved to a new part of life with her. And you will look back and enjoy this part. She is just like her mom. As Sylvia, MeMe and I was thinking back to when you was her age and always had to touch everything. Keep praying everyday for her. And know you have been the best mommy for Olivia. Love you, Mom

Kameron said...

That post made me tear up too! I can't believe I only have 2 more months before I will be feling the same way. I better cradle my girl while I can!