Her Old Self.

This summer has been a hard one with Olivia. 

 As crazy as it may sound, we have started to see some major changes in her personality and changes that we haven't been crazy about. 

She went from confident and fearless to shy and afraid of everything. As the summer went on, she seemed to get worse and worse.  Things got to the point that she would cry if any kids (her age) she did not know even looked at her.  We'd be in the middle of Target and if one kid even looked at her, she would be in tears asking to go home.  The kid who would once beg to be taken somewhere at least once a day, was now begging to stay home all the time.  This was starting to happen on a daily basis and something we were honestly starting to worry about. 

Not only that, it has been a big enough change that other family members were starting to worry and comment on it too.  The past couple of months, she was no longer our spunky Livi Kate.

Olivia has always been an outgoing, fearless kid and last summer we could tell that she was getting lonely being the only kid at home.  Though we have plenty of friends with kids her age that she plays with, due to life being busy, she still only gets to play with those friends maybe once or twice a week. We decided to sign her up for pre-k and she had a great year last year.  Over the year we saw her grow and blossom.  She loved her teachers and came home talking about her school friends.  We eagerly signed her up for this school year when sign ups came during the Spring.

By mid-July, her behavior changes really started to become noticeable.  I was eagerly counting down the days till school started because I thought it would really help her and I'll be honest, I was ready for a break.   Around the same time that her behavior changes seemed to be at the worst, our house went under contract and I was at a loss of what I should do.  I didn't want to put her in her old preschool, to only pull her out one month later when we move.  Though I know kids adjust fairly easily, she's been so sensitive lately, I was already worried about what the move was going to do to her.  We decided to keep her home with me till we figured out what would happen with the house and where we were going to be, so I withdrew her from school (honestly, with tears in my eyes....she had a great teacher and school that we were going to miss dearly).

But last week, we kinda had the end all with her behavior.  We had a couple of incidents in which my Momma heart knew that we needed to do something and something soon.  Regardless of what went on with the house or what my dreams may be (I've always wanted to homeschool), I knew things wouldn't get better till we found a school and found one stat.  So, I started to ask around and got the names of a few places around the area we will be living next month and this morning we went to visit.

Though I've been talking up "going to look at new schools" for the past week, she was not happy about it.  The entire forty minute drive there, she sat in the back seat crying and literally begging me to take her back home.  At one point, I teared up, seriously considered it, and questioned if I was doing the right thing.  Maybe she will be a shy and timid person all her life?  Maybe I should be nurturing those tendencies instead of pushing her out the door?  These questions continued to run through my head as I continued to reassure her it was all going to be okay.

We went to our first visit and she surprised me by walking right in and sitting right down.  Though I wasn't entirely in love with the place, I let her stay a minute and play.  The moment we walked out of the building, I started prepping her about going to visit one other school, but already, her nerves seemed to have eased.  The tears were already gone and she was excitedly talking about visiting the next school.

The moment we walked into the second school, I literally felt like I saw my child change before my eyes.  She immediately opened up and was talking to everyone that walked by, even the other kids her age who she just last week was crying over.  As we meet a few of the teachers and toured the classrooms, she got more and more excited and keep telling the director she "wanted to see more school"  We visited the Spanish and music teacher and I stood there amazed as she walked right up and talked to this lady like she had known her forever.  As we finished up the tour in the directors office to work out the details, she was crying to stay. 

She loved it and as crazy as it might sound, she seemed to blossom back into her old self in an instant. 

In my momma heart, I knew we had found where she needed to be and this was the answer to our prayers lately.  My fears that have grown over the summer, to the point they were consuming my constant thoughts, had instantly vanished.

I haven't seen her that happy in months now.

Even though I had to make promises that we would be back next week, she has seemed to keep up the excitement.  She was eager to tell her daddy about her new school and has continued to talk about it the rest of the day.  Just moments ago, David even mentioned he felt she already seemed to be happier and her old self this afternoon. 

So, next week, we'll start a new part of our new life and thankfully, a part that we're all excited about now.


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