Wednesday, December 7, 2011

A New Normal

We're still adjusting to a new normal around here. Several other experienced foster/adoptive parents had advised us to give it at least one month before everything settles, so I've been counting down the days. Heading into week two, things are already getting easier by the day.

We did have a rough weekend....I made several comments on facebook most already read....but things have drastically improved this week. We knew it was only a matter of time before the behavior problems showed up and they reared their heads this weekend.

It has been painfully obvious that the only way A.J. got any attention in his last home was by yelling and crying. He was in a home with several other young children and it seems he was always fighting for attention. After a frustrating couple of days, he's quickly learned that behavior doesn't fly in this house hold. We've been purposely over praising him when he did things in a correct behavior and he quickly picked up on it. As of now, we're just dealing with a normal two year old behavior.

Which, I have to say the hardest part of this is getting use to having two 2 year olds. It is basically like having twins now. I honestly don't understand how those people can survive with quints or sextuplets. It seems like crazy town here on even our best days!

And, I'm totally not use to having a boy yet!!! Believe me, Olivia is pretty wild for a girl, but boys are a whole different breed!

We're starting to settle into a daily routine and that is helping things greatly. I told Dave that I think we're going to be homebodies for the next year or so. We've taken them all three out only twice now, but it is a little too much for me just yet. Plus, I've forgotten how much sleep babies need, so its hard to be out with the Baby's schedule. It's much easier with one kid to just to pick up and go whenever.

Regardless, I love how "filled" our home feels at the moment. I've always wanted a big family and I love having three kids in our home. Ironically, I also always wanted two girls and a boy. They obviously fit that bill.

My days are busy and most of the time, seem to go by faster. The laundry is never ending and I feel like I sweep the floor a hundred times a day, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Right now, we are leaning towards making this a permanent placement, but we're not completely decided yet. We've been up to our ears in research on A.J.'s condition, going over his history, and we've had numerous phone calls with his specialists, but still waiting to hear back from the one person who has the answers we're looking for. Its more of that we just completely want to understand what we're looking at with a life with him.

At the end of the day, he's still a little boy who needs a family and someone who is committed to take care of him. He's two and we're his fourth home. It's obvious he has never had what we all think of as a "good parents." His parents never took care of him and that is how he ended up in foster care. Its questionable, regarding things we've been told, of how good of care he was getting in his last home.

I'll do a whole different post on what his condition is. I think we have a pretty good understanding of it now, even without talking to the one specialists.

But, things will not be final till we decide to sign the paperwork. I don't want people to get to heart broken like last time.

So, that's where we stand for now.

Working on a new normal.

Thank you to everyone who has sent encouraging words the past week. I know I haven't been able to respond to everyone, but I really appreciate them all!!!

2 comments:

Tristan said...

glad you are getting "normal"..i can't imagine two of T-A..oh my goodness..haha.
crazy..but fun!
i'm sure your doing a wonderful job!!

Kameron said...

Congrats on the placement even if it is crazy at the beginning! They are gorgeous little ones too. :)