It kinda feels like peeing on a stick and seeing a pink line....

We got an email yesterday from our caseworker saying our homestudy had officially been approved and signed off on.

We are pretty excited.

It kinda felt like peeing on the stick and seeing the pink line...but we're at that stage where we're waiting on going to the doctor to confirm it and make it real. Ya know what I'm talking about???

I honestly shed a little tear and was smiles for the rest of the day. Though I remember being all smiles, I don't even think I cried when I found out I was pregnant. Probably because I started puking less than an hour after finding out. Did I ever tell y'all that? It's no lie. Dave can vouch for me....my morning sickness started immediately and then never stopped.

Anyways, it felt like such a big relief.

I haven't posted anything since our first call for siblings, but our case worker eats regularly at one of Dave's stores and at the beginning of June, she told Dave that she had already had three other sibling groups she thought would fit perfect with our family, go to other families since our homestudy was still not approved. Each time, she would push to get our home study signed off, but was put aside by who ever does the official sign off since none were "emergency" placements.

We were getting bummed because I'll be honest, baby fever had hit our household hard.

(and when I say baby, a baby to us could be three feet tall and already potty trained)

It got bad when one day out of no where, my husband informed me he wanted another baby. In our almost thirteen years together, that was the first time he had ever said something to me that felt like a punch in the gut. I quickly snapped back with a smart elelick comment and ran out of the room. I went in the bathroom and bawled. I felt like I failed him.

As archaic as it sounds, I felt like it was my job to bear him children (yes, you have my permission to laugh at me). I was frustrated that after almost 15 months, I still had not gotten pregnant (even though I didn't necessarily want to be). Though I know that none of this is in my hands, I was frustrated that I had did everything everyone told me to,so we could be first on the list to get a child. I made sure we ran around town like crazy the first week of class, to get our backgrounds, physicals, etc. turned in first. I won't lie that I half expected to walk out of there with children and was frustrated that it felt like all these children were slipping through of our hands.

Honestly, I became obsessive about it.

But then we got some disappointing news about David's job. We had to make some readjustments and come up with what my father-in-law always says "a new game plan." A couple of weeks after our run in with our case worker, it became apparent to both of us that things really had worked out for the better and we were in a position at that time where it would have been too much stress to add more kids to our family.

At that time, we quit obsessing over it.

I began once again to live in the now, instead of tomorrow, like I so often find myself doing.

Ironically, just when I was getting comfortable and okay with the idea of Olivia being the only child for a little while longer, we got that email.

The first thoughts that came to my mind was how it felt so similar to finding out I was pregnant with Olivia. Just when I stopped obsessing over it, she happened.

It was a reminder of God's perfect timing.

I'm terrible about wanting things on my timing. To follow my plan. But, aren't we all?

So, where does that leave us???

We're sitting and waiting a little more patiently. This literally means that we can get a call any day now for some baby Mabes.

I'm still hoping for sooner rather than later.

(via)