Baby Details

First off....thank you, thank you, thank you, so much for all the well wishes.  They seriously all mean so much to us.

Just like so many of you also expressed, we are still in shock over it all.

It is a total unexpected gift from above.

I was in shock when the two lines showed up around the first of December.  It's funny because for the past three years, I've imagined over and over again what my reaction to seeing those two pink lines would be, but when it actually came to be, my reaction was nothing like I had ever imagined it to be.

I honestly didn't believe it.

So much so, I waited for three days and three different tests before I felt ready to tell David.  Even then, I told him with hesitation.

After that, we sat on the secret for over a week and waited for doctor confirmation before we told our parents and only a hand full of others, who all learned over this past weekend.

Which is a big deal for us, we suck at keeping secrets like this.  With Olivia, I told David after the first test and we made it public after only a couple of days.

However, this go round, I've been really nervous about sharing with others.  Even now. 

I'm a little over eight weeks along (Due July 30) and would have liked to have waited a little longer before sharing the news, but what they say about the second go round is true and I'm already sprouting a little baby bump. So, it was getting a little harder to keep the secret much longer, especially with it being the holidays and seeing so much family over the next couple of weeks.  Plus, it doesn't help when you have a three year old running around yelling "I"m going to be a BIG SISTER!!!" at the top of her lungs.  It kinda confuses people.

Over the last three years, you all have been along with us through all the whys, tears, heartbreak, etc.  I never shared with you all, but the ironic part of this story is that at the end of this past summer, I finally got brave enough to ask the Doctor to move forward with looking for answers.  She was ready over a year before, but I personally was not.  This summer though, I had finally gotten to the point that even if it wasn't the answer I wanted to hear, I needed an answer to why things were not happening.  I needed to be able to move forward one way or the other.

 She told me a year and a half ago that her prediction was not that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant again, but that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant without their help.  Obviously though, she couldn't give me a definite answer until I said I was ready to go in for testing. 

She gave me the referral for the infertility specialist and I walked out that day ready to start searching for answers.  Well, three days later we started dealing with the house stuff, which ended up going on for months, and I decided that now wasn't the time to add on the stress of infertility appointments and testing.   I put up my referral sheet in a safe place and told David I wanted to get through moving and the holidays first and then I'd call for an appointment at the beginning of the new year.  Crazy enough, we never needed that little referral.  Needless to say, though she's heard crazier, my doctor was a little in shock too.

And once again, God has proved to me he knew what he was doing all along.

To answer a few questions that I've had....

***Olivia somewhat understands what is going on.  One minute she's running around screaming about being a big sister and the next, she's saying she's the only baby.  We know it will be a huge adjustment for her when the baby comes.  We are already talking and making plans with the grandparents to make sure she gets plenty of attention from us and others when the baby comes. I know this is all natural and she will be fine.  As someone compared it the other day....it's kinda like your husband coming home and telling you how much he loves you and how wonderful you are, but he's bringing home another wife.  When I heard that, I thought how very true.

***Yes, I am going to same doctor and right now planning on the very same doctor that delivered Olivia to deliver baby #2.  This is something that I've honestly been thinking about for the last three years.  I have never placed blame on what happened last time on my doctor. I honestly have never felt like any of it was her fault.  I have always looked at it as a total freak accident.  I have debated going somewhere else, but the fact she knows my history and what happened the last go round, means she knows what to look for and I know in my heart, she will do whatever she can to prevent it to happen again.  If I go to someone new, they might not put much into what happened last time.  I take comfort in her knowing what happened and trust myself to be in her hands once again.

***I will have a scheduled c-section.  Due to what happened my last go round, they are not really giving me a choice. I totally understand that some people totally won't agree with this, but I feel okay with it.  I'll know what to expect and can prepare myself over the next 32 weeks.  Yes, I'm nervous.  Not so much about having the same freak accident happen, but more over the surgery itself.  I think its normal to be anxious over any type of surgery.

***The most asked question I get is am I sick?  Well, if you've been around long enough, you know I was sick as a dog while pregnant with Olivia.  I seriously was sick multiple times a day for 20 weeks last time.  IT WAS NOT FUN. Thankfully, I have only been sick three times so far this pregnancy.  I had been throwing up multiple times a day at this point with Olivia, so comparing the two, I consider the answer to be a no.  I get nauseated often, but so far, it usual will go away before I have to go running for the bathroom. Being that I'm already over the half way mark of the first trimester, I'm hoping the sickness doesn't get any worse.  I am however beyond exhausted. I already cannot sleep at night and my three year old is up every morning before 6am.  I may or may not several times a day bribed her with the ipad so I could take a nap on the couch.  I am counting down the weeks till that second trimester energy comes in!

Like I said, I'm nervous about putting it out there.  I know a lot of it stems from others close to me that have experienced loses recently.  When I was pregnant with Olivia, I was a little younger and naive to some of the heartbreaks that can come with pregnancy.  The last few years however have opened my eyes through others experiences.  I know so many of you have been praying for us over the past few years and I am asking for continuing prayers for both the baby and my health.  This is usually not me.  I'm usually pretty positive thinking, but I guess it being a long time answered prayer, I'm having a little fear.  So I ask for your continued prayers.

Once again, thank you for the well wishes and excitement. 


Comments

Tristan said…
you better believe i am totally praying for that baby..so exciting!!!!!
Liz Botts said…
I just found your blog through Tristan's blog, and I can't wait to read more. Congratulations on your new babe. I'll pray for you to have a safe and happy pregnancy/delivery/baby.