Blogging about blogging.

I don't think the blog has ever gone silent for this long.

I've been asked for awhile now about the blog...the question is getting more and more frequent and from people whom I never realized ever took the time to read my words. After all this time, I'm still always amazed by who reads.

To be honest, I've had a love/hate relationship with blogging for some time now.

Blogging has changed a lot since I started over six years ago.

A lot of the bloggers I've read for years have either gone commercial and it's nothing but promotions, life is just so ge-golly-perfect all the time, or they stopped blogging all together.

I got tired of it.
 
When you look up and it feels like your life is falling apart around you....you get tired of constantly being sold something or hearing how everyone else's life is perfect. 

Yes, times have been though for a lot of people for while now and some people are just trying to make some money through blogging and I'm smart enough to know that no one's life is perfect no matter how hard they try to portray it on social media.  However, when you have a year old who it seems hates life in general and still gets up multiple times a night while you're going on over a year without sleep, a marriage that feels like is coming apart at the seams, and a kid who has cancer.....it's hard to hide the un-perfectness of your own life on social media.

I mean, what do you blog about....how you and your husband fought again last night....how you cleaned up after chemo puke all day long....or how you tried to let your toddler "cry it out" and she cried so long and loud she woke the whole house up at two a.m.  Life hasn't felt pretty and blog worthy these past six months, so it just felt natural to leave it behind. 

However, that being said....I still didn't want to forget those imperfect moments down the road. Though they didn't make the blog, they found themselves in a paper journal by my bedside. Every hurt, fear, and scar...they're still written down so I can look back one day at how far we've come with this journey.

The bad moments are just as important to remember as the good.  

I don't know where I'm going from here as far as blogging goes.  A couple of weeks ago, I had a heart to heart about blogging from a long time blogging friend who is a blogger herself. Oddly, not long after that conversation, a heart to heart about it came from two other people who aren't bloggers, but read my blog. Well, all those had me thinking about the blog again in a different light and I'm still sitting and thinking on it.

Honestly, I'm not even sure where I'm going with all this, but to somewhat explain the absence. 

Though I'm not sure it calls for a comeback to blogging, life has slowly been getting better....David and I had a come to Jesus about us last October and though marriage is a constant work in progress, things have since been heading in the right direction. Livi is finally past the hardest parts of chemo and on the downhill slope as far as treatment goes...and Milla....well, she's still getting up multiple times a night....but not everything can be perfect, right?




Comments

Jennifer said…
I have always loved your blog and you because you are real. You say it like it is and you're honest. Those are important qualities in the friends I choose and even the blogs I read. Long ago I quit blogging for an audience and keep my little place on the internet for me. Just know that whatever you decide to do about blogging or not, that the blogworld would miss your voice and wouldn't be the same with at least one another woman putting the real stuff out there. Knowing your journey over the past year, even just the bits you have bravely shared, has had great impact on me personally. I am more and different and better maybe because of you and Livi. I go through cycles of writing and not. It's been harder lately. I guess I let the silence be silent and speak when my heart can. Anyway....I seriously love you girl. If we weren't states away, we would be real life close friends. I'm sure of it (o:
Tristan said…
Love you..and any post about ANY thing is awesome ;) bahahaha.
And..Livi's hair is growing fierce, wowza!!!!